Giving orders to children is normal in their education, but there are different ways to do it depending on your educational style. Ideally, they are orders from a positive discipline where empathy and active listening with the child are always the basis of good communication.
Listen to be heard
If you want to give orders to your children, the first thing you should keep in mind is that they have to listen to you, but for this, teach them to do it by listening first. Children often focus on exploring their environment, even when they are older, such as when they are 12 years old, so you need to be patient.
Children think a lot and have other priorities, so sometimes they don’t understand why your order is so important at that moment. But of course, when you need to give them an order, how can you make them listen to you and, of course, to obey you?
Don’t talk to him or give him an order until you have his attention
Do not talk to your child until you have captured their attention, and for this, you have to connect before speaking. This means that you cannot give orders from another room or away from your child and then scold him because he “has not heard you.”
To do this, you must be close, go down to your child’s level, and touch him lightly. Observe what she is doing and connect with her with a comment like: “Come on, look at that train.” When you connect with another person, the mind opens, and listening is facilitated. This is not manipulation; it is simply acknowledging respect for what is important to him.
When he has looked up, you will have to look him in the eye, and that is when you should start talking. If he doesn’t look up, that’s when you should get his attention by saying something like, “Can I tell you something?” And when I look up, you start talking.
Don’t repeat yourself
After having done the previous step, if you have asked or said something once and have not gotten an answer … do not just repeat. When you do not have your child’s attention, you should go back to what we have commented on in the previous point.
Use a few words: be clear and direct.
Most parents tend to wander in the message and lose their children’s attention by using too many words or a language that they do not understand. In order for her to really understand you and listen to exactly what you want her to do, try to use as few words as possible when giving her instructions.